Smoke and Dreams

Late night, stale smoke hanging in the air,

Sitting by the window in an old rickety chair,

The fan moving like a shadow of my own memories,

Slower than the pain of untold tragedies.

Suddenly, a gust of wind breezes in through the window,

Alone, yet I can see another shadow,

I stare and cant even utter a sound,

Feels like my feet are stuck to the ground.

Its you...

I know, for this feeling has been rare and few,

I can’t see you, Yet I know,

I close my eyes and am ready to go with the flow.

You, the reason for my being,

The memories come rushing back, no longer fleeing,

Oh, how I have searched for you, in the light and shadows, high and low,

With you here, I don’t want to think about yesterday or tomorrow.

Its you...

This time, this thought is so true,

My hands no longer feel like those of a stranger,

To love you, I shall risk any danger.

I see you now, just the same, as when we met last,

Are you a memory or is my sanity slipping away fast,

Doesn’t matter, for my arms open up to embrace,

As my heart stops beating, I smile, Coz I didn’t lose this race.

Darkness clouds my vision, yet the last thing I see,

Standing in the fire, You are here with me.

Never Good Enough

All of me was never enough to make you happy,

You made me try and then said you were not ready,

Even though I changed everything I knew about myself,

You said I was never was gonna be good enough.

Not good enough to make you smile,

Your adoring eyes, now clouded and hostile,

You were my desire, my dream,

Now I just wish I could find the strength to scream.

Not good enough to hold your hand,

Yet I stand and your hate I withstand,

I stand and all you do is push me away harder,

Why do I even bother?

Not good enough to hold you in my arms and kiss you,

Yet I pray to have my dream come true,

I am standing right here, look at me,

Tell me my fault, why you say, together, we will never be.

Clutching the pieces of my broken heart, I walked away,

For your happiness, I decided I shall not stay,

You never looked back at me as I drifted into the shadows,

Of my name, I vowed you shall not hear any echoes.

One day you will see me with another,

Happy and smiling, as a husband and a father.

Then you will open your eyes and see, my love, I was more than good enough.