To Hell... Swell!!!!

Here I am,
Back again,
My happiness and smile, a big sham,
valiantly trying to hide my pain.

'Someone' once said that I have learnt to live with the pain,
and there is nothing to gain,
Yet, I love to live with this emotion,
I laughed at this strange notion.

Criticised that my poems were more forced than an expression of my heart,
and not a piece of art,
I may not be a Shakespaere,
But I know I am not, a failure.

I will not give any excuses or answers anymore,
My throats gone soar,
This aint another excuse,
But no more, pain or the abuse.

Not everything, 'someone' said was incorrect,
but no reason to hurt y being so damn direct,
This is my life and not a story,
no matter how dry or gory!!!

Yes, the pain was constant,
but now I am so damn distant,
I hate that my loved ones are no longer close to me,
But now i dont give a damn or care to make myself see.

A split personality, was the accusation,
a bastard anyone was called, simply by association,
Yes I made mistakes and I will go to hell,
I dont give a damn and If I truly go there...swell!!!