Its getting harder to breathe...
Harder to see whats in front of my eyes,
harder to sift the truth from the lies,
to live the life that i wanted to lead.
there is nothing left inside,
my head swoons with a hangover of the past,
in my heart, the man I was to become, no longer resides,
its just an empty wasteland, dead and vast.
I see the people who I have killed,
their faces screaming in agony, when I sleep,
in the corners of my heart a new terror has filled,
and i see that one face that makes my soul weep.
The pain has become a constant companion,
anger is inside, compassion is missing,
the wasteland is its dominion,
I find myself on my knees, praying, nay wishing.
The smoke from the cigarettes swirling near my face,
the daily drinks I need to placate my soul,
anything to just shorten the night and ease my thoughts pace,
yet in the wasteland, the creatures laugh and howl.
They mock me and wait for me,
they know that I am going to join them soon,
Not a moment in the day are my thoughts ever free,
they circle, like vultures, flying over a dead man in the afternoon.
A lot of my life I regret,
sadness and a facade are my daily wear,
like a favorite horse who loses each bet,
silent, all the loving voices, I long to hear.
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